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In the Confucian tradition, Koreans have lived by an ethic based on five hierarchical relationships: father-son, king-subject, husband-wife, elder-younger and friend-friend. Age is the prime determinant of how one is treated and how one treats others; of course, position is also very important and commands respect. Westerners are sometimes annoyed by the oft-asked, âHow old are you?â and other seemingly intrusive questions. However, from a Korean perspective, these questions are necessary in order to establish the newcomerâs position in the hierarchy.
In some respects, relationships are vertical s opposed to the horizontal âall people are equalâ relationships of the West. The vertical aspect is built into and enforced by the language, which utilizes different forms depending on whether one is speaking to an older person, a friend (same age), a colleague or a child. Only when this is understood can non-Koreans begin to understand why they often encounter questions such as âHow old are you?â, âAre you married?â, âFrom which university did you graduate?â, âWhat is your position?â or âWhat is your husbandâs position?â, âHow much you do you make?â Koreans place great emphasis on their social networks, based on family, hometowns, provinces, school and university associations, and these relationships play important roles in professional and social life.